Being able to see the world differently is just a new way to start life. I may this ordinary teenage girl who seems to have fantasy almost everyday but I always try something new and sometimes its a risk. My life is a risk. I love it. I will steel time just for myself. I haven't forgotten my roots, where I came from ? what I've been through ? and whom was my friends ? The friends that will never understand me. Never. So , I quit. It was nice to have the life I wanted. You know , be free and fly. I would be lying if I'd said I felt like a loser in high school. I mean sometimes high school sucks.
Its the environment and the friends we've been with that changes everything. It made a big impact of life. My life was reckless. Trust me, it was. The stuff I did was horror. I'm grateful now. I mean , a job, some money and buying things I like whenever I want. Plus , meeting new people everyday. I feel grateful and lucky. I have these days when I feel so insecure about myself but then I reflect my life again and now , I'm happy. I won't feel bad for myself anymore just because my past sucks. Seriously, I got into fights and lost a few friends. I missed them though but yeah , people moved on. Please , don't feel bad for me. I don't want your sympathy. I'm expressing how I feel which is a good thing. A good improvement I guess. I will try and keep on trying to find the true me. If you want my opinion, I think my real friends accept me for whom I am because they think they deserve this kind of love. Well, I think they deserve more. I'm trying to be a good friend for them but if you think you can't be the best of yourself , you can be the best for the people ? I don't think so. I know I'm selfish. Typing about myself and how I feel. But please, the reason I blog is because I think its my thing. This is the only websites people won't judge you by your profile picture or your background/theme and playlist on your profile like myspace. As phafetic as it may seem its the truth. I mean , you judge people, I judge people , WE JUDGE PEOPLE.
There's always an error in someone's life. The error the may change their life.. forever. As human we will never forgive our self because the mistakes we did but c'mon we will do it again. Maybe in a different way. Slightly different I guess. Being able to control your life and did nothing is a waste of time. Waste. My family and friends are my movie to watch. Sure , I'm awkward and sensitive but hey , everyone is the same. People think their special because their different from everyone else but please make sense sometime. I mean if everyone thinks the same then we wouldn't have non special people in the world. As a conclusion,
when everyone think their different than everyone else , well we will all end up the same. You got me ? The difference is you can have it your way. I'm mean the way you handle things. Even though you make a list in what your going to do , probably at the end of the day the list will be under your bed because life is just beautiful than a simple list. Okay , where I'm going here. So , I was suppose to talk about life unpredictable but I ended up saying random things that maybe won't effect anyone. The only hit page views I got is when I wrote about my class mate. I think their selfish because their waiting for someone to tell them how they feel about them and the next day the only thing they'll be saying , 'thanks mia because of your lovely words about me' and so I gave them a quirky smile. Don't get me wrong, their the best classmate I've ever had. No doubt. But sometimes I wonder if they could treat me, differently. Well, its over know and I know it. I have to accept the love they showed me. But please , think again. When you think the worse thing is happening , there's always the best thing ahead of you. Trust me , there is.
Life is not about the past that haunt us forever , is about where are you going from there.What's next ?
Love always , amirah.
[Inspired by The Perks of being a Wallflower]
